Escaping the Trap of Unrealistic Expectations
I had all kinds of plans for December. I was going to set aside time to reflect on 2023 and set intentions for the new year. I was going to put together carefully constructed gift boxes for clients with thoughtful cards to express my gratitude for our work together. I was going to clean out my closets and get rid of things I no longer wanted. I didn’t do any of it.
It’s tempting to kick myself and wonder what is wrong with me that I don’t follow through. A tempting story, but not an accurate one…
What did I do in December? I began my work as a facilitator for the Enneagram Prison Project. Oh, and I moved to a new apartment. Anyone who has been through a move knows what an all-consuming undertaking it is. Everything is in chaos and the last 10% seems to take 50% more time.
The reality is those plans I didn’t get done weren’t plans at all. They were a bunch of loosely held intentions that got crowded out by more pressing priorities. If I had paused to assess and actually construct a plan, I would have realized my expectations were completely unrealistic; that moving semi-gracefully on top of adding new work was a tall enough order in itself.
We humans (especially the highly motivated variety like you and me) are very good at coming up with ideas! We are great at creating extensive to-do lists. We are less great and being honest about constraints and setting realistic priorities. New clients regularly report the stress of never getting through their to-do list and feeling constantly overwhelmed and like they aren’t doing enough.
When we are in a constant sprint to get everything done, we become slaves to inertia, indiscriminately trying to do everything instead of the most important things. And that is a setup for overwhelm and feeling like you failed.
We can’t do everything, and we definitely cannot do everything well. This is why it is so important to pause, take a step back, and determine what is most important and where we want to spend our limited resources.
When we pause to reflect, we can reap the lessons from our experiences and adjust course. We can create more satisfaction not by doing more, but by doing more of what matters most now and letting the rest go.
Looking back, my goal of setting aside time to reflect on 2023 and set intentions for the new year was an excellent one, just not realistically timed. The beauty is it is not too late.
January is an excellent time to step back and get clarity on where we want to go. The new year brings a sense of potential that inspires us to take stock, think big, and plan ahead. I’m choosing to capitalize on that. And, I’d love for you to join me!
I invite you to join me in setting intentions and creating a vision for the year ahead.
When: January 8th, 2024 at 5pm PT//8pm ET
Where: Zoom (registration closed)
What to bring: Journal or notepad and a pen. Favorite warm beverage and sweatpants optional.
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To register for my new year reflective journaling session and other workshops, see the calendar on the homepage.